Mimicry and Empathy in Language Usage

Marco Tulio, my Honduran friend who taught
me much about Spanish language and culture.

I have long been a fan of the study and use of language, whether it be one’s native language or studying a foreign language. It should come as no surprise then, that I have become a fan of NPR’s program “A Way with Words.” 

In their November 11, 2023 episode, co-hosts Martha Barnette and Grant Barret spoke with a young nurse whose friends told her that her accent had changed since she started working in a hospital. She was totally unconscious of this. The hosts commented that this was a common phenomenon in which people change their manner of speech in order to show their empathy towards other people. 

I identify with this in my own experience with English, my mother tongue, Spanish, Standard German and Swiss German. It involves mimicry. I identify four areas of mimicry that I have used, sometimes consciously and sometimes unconsciously: 1) audience, 2) rate of speech, 3) vocabulary (including idioms and expressions) and 4) intonation. By mimicking others who surround us, we show our empathy toward them.

Before the advent of texting, making telephone calls with friends was more common as a way to keep in touch. My wife told me she could identify with whom I was speaking within minutes of my phone call. My speech patterns, vocabulary and intonation changed according to the person with whom I was talking. I was identifying with my audience and using specialized vocabulary and intonation that I had in common with them. In many cases I used a particular accent. I was cementing the relationship with a friend and showing them empathy. These conversations were all in my native tongue. 

While learning other languages, mimicry is crucial to be able to speak intelligibly with others. I learned Spanish first in the classroom and was influenced by the accent of my non-native teacher’s accent. Then I spent two months in a language school in Costa Rica, taking on the local accent variations. Next I lived in Honduras for two years and picked up not only a slightly different accent, but many special expressions. When I would use them with other native people from other parts of the Spanish-speaking world, they either identified me as having learned Spanish in Honduras or looked at me in total confusion. Finally, I studied and lived in Mexico for an equivalent of four years. Now other Spanish-speaking people identified some of my intonation as peculiarly Mexican. 

With each step in learning Spanish, I mimicked the particular vocabulary and intonation of the place where I was living. I would argue that this made me more emphatic and fit better into the particular place where I lived. It didn’t hurt that I am a natural-born mimic. Anyone, however, can get closer to the language they are studying if they listen intently and try to mimic the sounds. This leads to more empathy with those who surround you. I have been told by someone who studied this phenomenon, that people who retain a strong, nearly unintelligible accent when living in another language field, often feel above the people with whom they are relating. This would be the opposite of empathy. 

In one instance, when living in an English-speaking island off the north coast of Honduras, I used my mimicking ability to duplicate the pronunciation and intonations of the local English dialect. They were offended, thinking that I was making fun of them. So I had to back off and use my normal patterns of speech, although I did include the new vocabulary. I was only trying to empathize with them, but in this case, it backfired. 

Another matter of interest is the speed with which I would speak my foreign language. I often unconsciously mimicked the speed of the speaker with whom I was involved in a conversation. When I became aware of this, I had to consciously slow down to a more normal speed for myself because at an increased speed the potential for making mistakes greatly rose. I don’t usually do this with my native language.

For people in the helping professions, like the nurse I mentioned above, empathy is essential in making breakthroughs in relationships and understanding. However, one  needs to be careful not to completely lose one’s own individual identity in relating to the other. This sometimes called “going native.” A healthy balance is necessary. One also needs to back off if the person or people seem offended. 

Intercultural communication is a valuable asset in today’s diverse society, no matter whether speaking in one’s native tongue or in another language. Empathy goes a long way for intercultural understanding, and even more in regular conversation with our own kind.