My Heart is Not Proud

I have recently been enthralled by a choral piece based on Psalm 131. It is composed by Margaret Rizza, and has a haunting simplicity which speaks to me deeply. The text as it appears in the piece is:

O Lord, my heart is not proud,

    nor haughty my eyes.

    I have not gone after things too great,

    nor marvels beyond me.

    Truly I have set my soul

    in silence and peace;

    at rest, as a child in its mother's arms,

    so is my soul.

According to some biblical commentaries, the Psalm was composed by David while he was being pursued by King Saul who accused him of “boundless ambition and a greed affectation of the royal throne” (Poole). David expresses humility in light of this: “my heart is not proud, nor haughty my eyes.” 

David asserts that “I have not gone after things too great, nor marvels beyond me.” He shows humility about his personal goals; they are not his, but God’s. “[T]he right of the kingdom was not sought or coveted by him, but freely conferred upon him by the unexpected and undesired favour of God.” (Poole). 

David “sets his soul in silence and peace.” He is patiently waiting on God’s time by being still before the Lord, praying and meditating. Furthermore, he is at rest in his “mother’s arms,” There could be no better metaphor for quiet and patience than a baby resting in its mother’s arms; the mother as a metaphor for God. 

Many of us feel conflicting forces, much like David, in our current situation. A pandemic continues to rage, the political scene is fractured more than at any other time in my short span of life, and climate change wreaks havoc with evermore powerful storms and devastating fires. 

This is a time when we, like David, need to “set our souls in silence and peace.” Only as we sit in silence and reflect with gratitude on the goodness of God while resting in her everlasting arms, can we find "peace." Not only do we need to rest in silence and peace, but we need to surrender our “proud and haughty” opinions to God’s purposes and not our own.

Here is a link to the beautiful choral piece to which I refer. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rW5NBKT0XME&list=RDrW5NBKT0XME&start_radio=1

Letter From Reader

I received this letter from a reader of my book Coming of Age in Honduras:

Hello Don, 

I wanted to share with you a few things I really enjoyed about your book!

First, the story itself was just interesting. Your job as a sort of "circuit accountant" for credit unions was not the one I was imagining - I thought you'd have been building shelters / digging latrines the whole time. 

Second, I so admire how forthright you were (and are) about your varying levels of uncertainty with your faith, and how that juxtaposed with the connection you felt toward your Mennonite church family and culture throughout. Related to this were your unanswered questions about poverty and how we should respond to it. It was interesting, and it was inspiring. I grew up Christian but these days I lament the "moral dualism" and self-and-other discrimination that was front-and-center to my previous Christian communities. In your story, as your own faith ebbs and flows I feel like "hey, this guy is a sinner like me." Christianity has a lot more to offer the world than moral dualism and discrimination. I think your book helps to show what that might look like. 

Third, I think you were brave to put "sexuality" in the title and to talk about your romantic/sexual thoughts, feelings, and experiences during this time. Of course it would be weird if a 19-20 year old guy didn't experience this dimension, but I like that you confront it head on and it adds to the genuineness of the story and the "whole person" you are trying to present. Along the lines of my previous comment, I think it shows how a faith journey includes this dimension of life, too!

I read the book all in one day - I just couldn't wait to read what happened next! 

Anyway, thanks for writing! Good luck with your next (or current) project...!!

Jody

Book can be purchased at: Masthof Press

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